Microsoft Soda

Posted: December 10, 2008 in Uncategorized

Hey, FedEx!

Please fire the idiot that decided to drop the Kinko’s brand name!  (And, yes, I know they announced this in June — I just figured they’d have come to their senses by now.  After visiting my local FedEx shipping office today, I discovered they haven’t.)

This is one of the most boneheaded moves I’ve heard in years.  This is akin to Hershey’s buying Coca-Cola and changing the name to "Hershey’s Cola".  Sure, Hershey’s has name recognition — but NOT FOR SODA!  Hershey’s isn’t that stupid; they’d keep the world-renowned Coke brand name. 

(Microsoft, on the other hand, would probably change the brand to Microsoft Soda, but that’s another post.  Although I have to confess I’m intrigued by the whole idea of fine print on the soda can stating that the contents cannot be guaranteed to be non-poisonous, or even the contents as specified on the label or, for that matter, that there are contents at all!)

Wait a minute!  It was all for the stock pricing, right?  Let’s see how that went.  After the announcement on June 2, FedEx stock closed a shade over 90.  Today the stock closed just over 60.  How’s that?  Isn’t that a 33% loss in value?  Isn’t that the wrong direction? 

At what point do you say, "Hey, we screwed up; do over?" 

Kinko’s is one of the few examples of a second-generation genericized trademark, one that replaced the original genericized trademark (Xerox in this case — boomers tend to refer to a photocopy as a "xerox" copy; younger people refer to "Kinko’ing it."  Eli Stone‘s episode this week even referred to "Kinko’s" copies — 5 months after FedEx dropped it!).

I, for one, plan to avoid FedEx Office locations for copies, and I’m seriously thinking of dropping FedEx for shipping, because I can’t count on their judgment any more.

Yeah, I’m pissy like that.  But I’ll be all right in a minute, after I finish my Microsoft Soda cola-flavored beverage.


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