From a Dec 12 letter sent by Fir Douglas, Santa’s Elf Resources:
Dear Mr. Mistle Toebuss,
It has been 7 days since you failed to report for work at Santa’s Bureau of Investigation, Mideast American Region, and you have not reported in since. All attempts to contact you have failed during that time.
In accordance with Santa’s Elf Resource policy, your employment is now considered self-terminated, and all benefits — including frostbite insurance — have ceased. While you are not eligible for a severance package or a company Christmas gift, you are entitled to any vested portions of your Reindeer Retirement Account. Of course, if you elect a full disbursement, early withdrawal penalties will apply.
Santa wishes you a Merry Christmas!