Santa’s Bureau of Investigation, Day 1

Posted: December 1, 2007 in Uncategorized

From the Dec 1 notes of Elvis Blackhat, Chief of Santa’s Bureau of Investigation, North Pole Headquarters:

09:00 Regional Management Report

  • 43.8% of Santa’s infotaps successfully upgraded
    • New passive taps:
      • Neopetz Christmas list (direct feed to NPHQ)
      • Guitar Hero III Nicholas avatar (available on Microsoft Live)
      • World of Warcraft Santa character (appears after 10 kills)
    • New active taps:
      • HoHoHo.SBI worm (reports email keyword scan to NPHQ)
      • iPhone Santa Service Mode (remote activation feed collected online purchases to NPHQ)
      • PirateBay+Amazon virus (auto-adds pirated music to Amazon wish list)
      • HDTV DirectSanta (embedded camera in LCD/plasma screens feeds NPHQ)
      • Microsoft Vista Santa Pack 1 (combined pack of NPHQ taps, available on Upgrade Tuesday)
  • 9.7% of legacy wiretaps still operational
    • Obsoleted by decreasing wired phone usage
  • 1-yr tap plan:
    • Redesigned 2-way digital TV signal, Feb 2009 (feed to NPHQ TV Habits Analysis Unit)
  • 5-yr tap plan:
    • GPSanta requirements meeting scheduled
    • SantaSkype testing started

  1. amandatkd says:

    I knew it!
    Even Santa is going digital…but it does worry me that he has anything using either the MS or Vista names…we know how reliable they are [EG]

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