It’s Important You Don’t Stink

Posted: March 22, 2007 in Uncategorized
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I listen to Flight 26 on XM Radio at work, and I’ve been hearing this new band, 30 Seconds to Mars.  Apparently, according to their MySpace page, their current song is called “The Kill.”  I’m not entirely sure what the lyrics are, but I like the tune.  So, as I often trade new artist discoveries with my almost 16-year-old son, I had Robert bring up their site on his computer.

3 Skulls, in a “Trinity” pattern.

Pictures with band members soaked in blood.

Um.

Vampire cult band?  Color me confused.

Robert looked up after about 30 seconds and said, “There are people yelling at me.  What did I do?”

The whole incident reminded me of “Drive,” a sobriety song by Incubus a few years back.  Loved the song, especially the whole aspect of choosing  “water over wine.”  So I picked up the album.

Headbangers.

Ouch.

“Drive” was pretty much the only track I found listenable.

Which brings me to another headbanging group making the rounds recently.  Hinder.  They had this hit, “Lips of an Angel” a few months back.   You could tell by the raw, gravelly voice of the lead singer that he wasn’t used to singing ballads.  Or singing, for that matter.  Probably used to screaming.  

And, of course, there’s the completely amoral message that it’s okay to have phone sex with your last girlfriend while shacked up with your new one.  From what I’ve heard, the video doesn’t even try to maintain the illusion of reality, and the current girlfriend just smiles when she overhears the cad on the phone.

Yeah, right.  That’s the kind of self-respecting girlfriend any guy would be lucky to have.  And naturally the new girlfriend’s going to suggest a three way when he comes to bed, right?  ‘Cause we all live in music video land.

I checked out Hinder’s website and MySpace anyway, and my suspicions were confirmed.

Metal, metal, metal.  Nary a slow song beyond “Lips of an Angel.”

Then I saw them on Leno, in “their national TV debut.”  My younger son watched their — and I use the term loosely here — performance in awe.  We were very impressed…

…that they could sound so incredibly horrible for their debut!  In the movie “That Thing You Do,” Tom Hanks tells the band as they take the stage at a state fair, “It’s important that you don’t stink out there.”

Hinder missed that memo,

The lead singer sounded like he’d just come off a three-day bender of booze and drugs.  I’m talking rough here.  He sounded worse than Jim Morrison on a bad day a couple of weeks before he died.

So I was a bit surprised when I started hearing another song by Hinder on Flight 26.  Even more surprised that it was a ballad.  Where was this on MySpace a few months back?  

The new song’s called “Better Than Me,” as in “You deserve much better than me.” 

You got that right.  I remember the lyrics to “Lips of an Angel.”  No argument from me.  You’re clearly scum.

Hinder was on Leno again the other night, and I just had to stay up to watch that.  I mean, they didn’t manage to shoot themselves in the feet too badly with their first appearance — evidently, though inexplicably — so I figured that meant the lead singer got himself in rehab or something and now was clean.

Nope.  Sounded like he was still on that bender from a few months ago!  And he just couldn’t seem to find the right pitch, either!

It’s.  Important.  You.  Don’t.  Stink.

‘Cause you know what?  As a potential customer, I deserve much better than you.

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