Porn on Planes

Posted: July 30, 2006 in Uncategorized
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Ok, so it wasn’t actually porn, but geez…

We flew back on Delta from Atlanta. The 757 had video screens embedded in the back of the seats in front of each passenger, allowing us to choose our own entertainment. Movies for $5, TV or radio for free (so long as you have earphones or buy them on the spot), $5 for a bunch of games like Bejewled!, a free trivia game, etc. So far, so good.

There was a minor glitch while we were still taxiing, and they had to reboot the system (which turned out to be Linux — sorry, Linux bigots, even Linux has to be rebooted SOMETIMES. And I know it was Linux because the boot sequence scrolled by on ALL of our screens, and I recognized the drivers, though not the distribution. Also, the penguin at the upper left helped). I still had some problems with the system, mind you, such as:

1) the system not liking the position of my finger while desperately trying to select the correct answer on the touch screen before the timer ran out without making the guy in front of me think I was deliberately poking at him

2) the system randomly kicking me out of the trivia game while I was winning (it scores you against others playing at the same time)

3) the system making value judgments about the content I was allowed to see (evidently, it was okay for me to watch Animal Planet, but I’d used up my quota for the Food Network right in the middle of Iron Chef America — did it have weight sensors in the seat and decide I was too fat to see more food responsibly?)

But the problems were manageable.

Then I turned on the E! Network. They had a special on, “The Girls Next Door.” I noticed the “i” was dotted with the Playboy symbol. Hmmm. Wasn’t this a family plane? I mean, there were four (yes, 4) families with strollers on the plane, and several pre-teens. I watched this family entertainment for about 5 minutes, and was treated to the following apparently G-rated scenes:

1) Several girls paraded around in VERY skimpy outfits around a cake, out of which popped another girl, who then proceeded to remove her bra, revealing her Playboy-sized equipment adorned solely in pasties.

2) Several side shots of three girls (presumably the 3 making up the new band, called “Girls Next Door), completely unclothed, pressed up against each other in a line.

3) One of the girls demonstrating (while clothed, at least) the proper usage for a bidet.

4) A swimming pool full of girls in attire #2, one of whom stands up in a foot of water and merrily bounces (pixelatedly and fuzzed, fortunately) straight into the camera.

Now, I’m not a prude, and I wouldn’t have made a scene if MY kids had stumbled upon this “special” entertainment, but I was actually embarrassed watching this, afraid somebody would complain about some guy watching porn out in the open, where any of the kids on board could see.

The bottom line: E! is a CABLE channel, not public TV, and I think that Delta could have screened the content of the cable channels before airing them in a public forum, at least holding them to the standards of public TV. At least, Delta could have displayed a warning that “the content on this channel might be objectionable to some viewers.”

What do you think?

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Comments
  1. lwj2 says:

    The lack of entertainment is the best reason to carry books on a plane.
    I suppose Luttwak’s COUP d’ETAT is right out now, considering the new security protocols. I’m not looking forward to flying anytime soon. Maybe I’ll strike it rich and be able to afford a nice Beechcraft.

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